you don't know how much i suffered emotionally thru those times. that the only closure, knowing once meet, there is a possibility it will be over and the full realisation, it will never work. all i ever wanted was closure then. and there was none. the same thing went on and on and even after i stopped, she always have a way to make me come back. the same chatting brought nothing out of it the last time but only more sorrows of more uncertainty of not knowing at all. because of this, i will have nothing of her. none at all. nothing to remind me of her. she was uncompromising even in the last chat and i took a strong stance to try and break that. it wasnt what i was hoping will happen, only wanting to end a chapter but no intention of going beyond everything we ever chatted about. that is all. since she did not, and being me of having conclusion in everything and anything i do, it simply dawn on me she took me for a fool all this while, whether intentionally for her own pleasures or unintentionally out of sheer attachement of what we supposingly had. i was only feeding her fantasy. and that made me furious and hurt me so much so that i can't describe it. simply beyond words the emotion i went thru. i choose and chosen, to have nothing more to do with her. none at all. not even wishing to have a glimpse, simply nothing of that FUCKING BITCH.
